Finding a New Home (Redo)
Tyler Finds a New Home … For Tyler Brazuk, life was very dull. Almost every day, he went to school and did some boring, boring work. He would try to get his teachers to send him home by cursing and making good-enough reasons to stay home, besides being ill and having a fever. He even tried kicking stuff around, trying to make his teachers gasp in horror and immediately call Mom, but to no avail. He often wondered why there was even a safe room in the school, since he thought that he would get sent home much easier if there ''wasn’t ''one at all. Alas, for his teachers, work made him much smarter. But Tyler felt that he learned enough. He tried telling that to Mrs. McShay, Mrs. Vogt, among others, but none of them understood. They said that Tyler needed to learn ''more. ''Tyler often angrily retorted that he didn’t by using big words such as ''complicated ''and ''unbearable, ''but these words only made his teachers upset. Most important of all, hearing ‘’Mm-hmm’’ about 20 times a day wasn’t Tyler’s cup of tea. At home, in the Brazuk House, he said it was much better, much more pleasant, much more enjoyable, but this didn’t convince his teachers, either. To this year, playtime at home was quite rare, according to him. He often tried to have some playtime, but ended up doing other stuff instead. No wonder WHAT Tyler said---‘’Teachers are like kings and queens’’, ‘’This school is like a palace, where you have to obey rules’’, or even ‘’I wish you’d expel me’’ and ‘’I want you to please close down this school, permanently’’---nothing made his teachers say something like ‘’Yes. I understand completely. I’ll let you stay home.’’ He was even tired of the word ‘’rude’’, one of the teachers’ favorite things to say. The days passed and neither cajoling nor flattery nor screaming at the top of his lungs nor breaking and destroying stuff ever made Tyler’s teachers call Mom. They always said, ‘’Unsafe! Go in the safe room!’’ So, with all that was happening, Tyler couldn’t bear it anymore. One day in autumn, Mom yelled, ‘’You’re driving me crazy! Go live with someone else if you don’t like school!’’ The words stuck to Tyler’s mind. To live with someone else was ''not ''a good plan. After all, not everyone acted the same. Tyler silently walked to Mom and Dad’s bedroom, went in the bathroom, and cried and cried. Mom had also said that she was going to call Mrs. Sterling for a home teacher. If Tyler had a home teacher, well, who knows how he might react! As he thought about it, Tyler moped and let himself cry his eyes out. Life was still going to be dull, all because of Mom’s warning of a home teacher if he didn’t behave. … Three days later, Tyler woke up. He waited until his mom and dad had gotten up, too, and went to Mom and Dad’s bedroom. There was a broken TV in the bedroom, and Tyler decided to fly to Grandma and Pop Pop’s house to get in ''their ''TV. So Tyler turned into a superhero and flew off. Several minutes later, he came to Grandma and Pop Pop’s house. He turned on the TV---luckily, Grandma and Pop Pop were upstairs, still sleeping. Then he took off his superhero costume, and bravely went inside the TV. Then purple squares and a purple Paramount logo came into view. Music was heard as the stars on the Paramount logo shone, then the squares and the Paramount logo disappeared, revealing the Feature Presentation logo. ‘’And now we’re pleased to bring you, our Feature Presentation,’’ a voice droned. The Feature Presentation logo shone and zoomed in toward the camera! Tyler covered his eyes and then saw the Paramount Warning Screen. After a couple of seconds, it vanished. Some clouds were shown on the screen, and then more appeared, and then stars came into view. Surprisingly, some stars were already down below, making the trademark Paramount logo. Then a CD flew up to the screen and got close to the Paramount logo. A loud explosion was heard, and after that, the Paramount logo, with the CD as part of it, turned black. The Hundred-Acre Wood showed up on the screen next, and Tyler dropped to the ground. He had left his home because of an important mission: to live with characters who weren’t in the real world. If he lived with a woman, she might laugh at many things he said. Living with a man might make him nervous. Sure, he was comfortable around older men and women, but still he considered living with cartoon characters who might not laugh at so many things he said. He did it because, as far as he was concerned, perhaps NOBODY in the real world would find him serious! The thought made him shudder. ‘’I don’t want to live with Mom and Dad anymore,’’ Tyler said. ‘’I want to live with…POOH BEAR!’’ So he rushed off to Pooh’s house, and knocked. Pooh opened the door and was surprised to find him standing there. ‘’Hello,’’ Tyler greeted. ‘’I’m Tyler.’’ ‘’Tyler, I see,’’ Pooh replied. ‘’Why are you here?’’ ‘’Well, my mom just told me to go live with someone else,’’ Tyler answered. ‘’And here I am!’’ ‘’Fascinating,’’ said Pooh. ‘’I know,’’ the boy confirmed. ‘’Did you eat breakfast?’’ Pooh asked. Tyler tried to remember. ‘’Oh, no!’’ he said with a gasp. ‘’I HAVEN’T eaten any breakfast!’’ ‘’Oh, bother, that’s too bad,’’ Pooh said with sympathy. ‘’Well, come on in.’’ Tyler went inside Pooh’s house. But he soon found that all Pooh had in his house was honey! ‘’It was very kind of you to visit me,’’ said Pooh. Tyler left Pooh’s house. ‘’I don’t want to live with Pooh Bear,’’ he said. ‘’I want to live with…TIGGER!’’ Off he rushed to Tigger’s house. Tigger was surprised to see him, too. ‘’Tyler,’’ the boy introduced. ‘’Tigger,’’ the creature replied. ‘’Well, well, well! I’ve never seen you before.’’ ‘’I couldn’t live with my mom and dad, so I decided to find a new home,’’ Tyler explained. ‘’In my house?’’ Tigger asked excitedly. ‘’Yes…’’ Tyler said quietly. ‘’I’d be delighted!’’ Tigger cried. ‘’You could gladly live with me!’’ But living with Tigger had its own issues. First, when Tigger bounced, he sometimes caused accidents, which really made Tyler nervous. And second of all, Tigger was able to do a very complicated bounce, which Tyler couldn’t do very well. Above all, Tyler was NOT like Tigger, not one bit: too bouncy, too happy, and too laughy. Tyler left Tigger’s house. ‘’I don’t want to live with Pooh Bear OR Tigger,’’ he said. ‘’I want to live with…EEYORE!’’ So Tyler ran to find Eeyore’s house. Eeyore was in his house, frowning, as usual. It seemed like Eeyore’s Gloomy Place was a perfect spot for Tyler! ‘’Hello, Eeyore!’’ Tyler greeted. ‘’Hello,’’ Eeyore said in his usual low voice. ‘’If you say it’s a good morning, I doubt it.’’ ‘’Wow, I like the way you talk, Eeyore!’’ the boy shouted. ‘’The way I talk?’’ repeated Eeyore, confused. ‘’Since you’re always so gloomy, you tend to say things that many other people don’t say,’’ the boy explained. ‘’Above all, nobody else in the Hundred-Acre Wood talks like you!’’ ‘’Ah, so maybe it IS true,’’ Eeyore mused. ‘’What are birthdays? If it is a good morning, which I doubt. Pathetic, that’s what it is. Stuff like that.’’ ‘’Yes, yes, that’s right!’’ Tyler yelled with barely contained excitement. ‘’I’m totally living with you!’’ ‘’I can live with that,’’ Eeyore said agreeably. And for days, Tyler actually ''did ''like living with Eeyore. He figured that Eeyore never laughed and was very serious (and sometimes funny), like him. But when winter came, Tyler could barely keep himself warm in Eeyore’s stick house. How could Eeyore stay warm in this spot? he wondered. He soon discovered that Eeyore had lots of thistles where he lived---too prickly to eat, and too painful to step on. Tyler finally gave up and left Eeyore’s house, too. ‘’I don’t want to live with Pooh Bear or Tigger OR Eeyore,’’ he said. ‘’I want to live with…KANGA AND ROO!’’ But that idea was disastrous, too. Roo was always very bouncy, not to mention sickly cute. What’s more, when Kanga was away, Tyler tried to babysit her child, but with unexpected results. Roo pouted, and tried to sneak out of the house---succeeding, unfortunately. So Tyler left Kanga and Roo’s home, too. Suddenly, the Hundred-Acre Wood disappeared, and the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse was shown. Tyler stuck to trying to find a perfect home. ‘’I don’t want to live with Pooh Bear or Tigger or Eeyore OR Kanga and Roo,’’ he said. ‘’I want to live with…MICKEY MOUSE!’’ And Tyler rushed inside the Clubhouse. But Mickey didn’t seem too serious---and the Clubhouse was very small, and the only place Tyler could find when he wanted to be alone was the closet. Tyler found that idea a disaster, too. After a different scene was shown, he said, ‘’I don’t want to live with Pooh Bear or Tigger or Eeyore or Kanga and Roo OR Mickey Mouse. I want to live with...SPONGEBOB!’’ But when SpongeBob snored, Tyler could not fall asleep. Living with SpongeBob was going to be a real problem. Most of all, SpongeBob only had one bedroom. ‘’I don’t want to live with Pooh Bear or Tigger or Eeyore or Kanga and Roo or Mickey Mouse OR SpongeBob,’’ Tyler said. ‘’I want to live with…SQUIDWARD!’’ But Squidward also had one bedroom. And his bed was too little---too little for a tall boy like Tyler. So that choice wasn’t good, either. ‘’I don’t want to live with Pooh Bear or Tigger or Eeyore or Kanga and Roo or Mickey Mouse or SpongeBob OR Squidward,’’ he said. ‘’I want to live with…PATRICK!’’ And off dashed SpongeBob to Patrick’s rock. But living with Patrick DEFINITELY wasn’t easy. First, Patrick was not very smart, unlike Tyler, who had a VERY smart brain. Second, it was almost impossible to open and close Patrick’s rock, so he feared he might be trapped inside forever. Finally, Tyler gave up. He went out of the TV, put his superhero costume back on, and flew away. ‘’I don’t want to live with Pooh Bear or Tigger or Eeyore or Kanga and Roo or Mickey Mouse or SpongeBob or Squidward OR, most of all, Patrick,’’ he said. ‘’What I REALLY want to live with are…MOM AND DAD!’’ And Tyler rushed home. Mom and Dad were very happy to see them. And Tyler told his parents that he would not like living with someone else because not everyone acted the same. His parents were so amazed that they allowed Tyler to stay home forever. And thankfully, the high school got bombed and was never seen again. Category:1,002 Category:Stories